


forever isn't always forever

by LunaVitaeSuae



Series: Tumblr stuff [15]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Breakup, F/M, WHY DOES LAF HAVE SUCH A LONG NAME
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 18:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8456938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaVitaeSuae/pseuds/LunaVitaeSuae





	

You looked up from your phone. What the hell was Hercules talking about? ‘Laf’s going away party?’ You looked at Lafayette, sitting on the couch in your dorm room, your legs on his lap. He was reading while letting you have quiet time to study for your last final before the end of the spring semester.

“Gil, are you going somewhere?”

The man in question looked up from his book, eyes wide.

“Non, ma cherie, unless you would like me to go to let you study alone?” 

“I just got an invite to your going away party. What’s going on?”

This time, his eyes clouded with guilt. You pulled your legs up and scooted away from him.

“Amour, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know how to tell you…”

At this, you stood up and walked to your bed. Your mind was going at a million miles a minute and your chest was starting to get tight.

You turned around and stared at him. “When.” Not a question. 

“The day after graduation.” Laf leaned forwards, book forgotten, and dropped his head into his hands.

You choked.

“The day after graduation? That- That’s in 3 days. When were you planning on telling me? Before your ceremony? After you’d left? Were you going to tell me at all or were you just going to disappear out of my life like that?” You snapped your fingers at him. There were tears in your eyes now, threatening to spill over.

Lafayette looked at you pleadingly, tears filling his own eyes. He stood and started towards you but stopped in his tracks when you flung your hand up, telling him to stay away. 

He stood there, his arm stretched out toward you, while you frantically scrubbed at your face, trying to stop the tears before they could fall.

“My grandmother wishes for me to come home and begin work on the family business. She purchased my ticket before she even told me.”

“I guess that’s where you get it from.”

“Mon ange, I wanted to tell you, but Alex told me not to ruin your finals week and -”

“Wait. Who all knows about this?” He hung his head in shame and you gaped at him, shocked.

“E-Everyone? Everyone knew about this and kept this from me?” He nodded miserably.

“And you? How long have you known?” It was getting harder and harder to keep your voice steady. You gave up on wiping your face, letting the tears fall unhindered.

A long silence stretched out.

“Grand-mere told me in December that this would be my last semester.”

“You’ve known this long?” You whispered. Lafayette nodded. 

“Get out.” He made a sound of protest and reached for you again, but you turned your back.

You heard him turn back to the couch and grab his things before quietly leaving the room. The last sound you heard was a quiet click before your crying started in earnest.

You weren’t sure what to do. You hadn’t thought about this before. You knew it had been a possibility. But, to find out about it right before it happened? You were devastated. 

You had been wanting to talk to him about living together. He lived with his friends now, and you would be okay with that. Or getting a place of your own to share with him. Either way, all you had wanted was to be with him. He was the love of your life, the only person you could even think about calling your soulmate. 

But now? You didn’t know anything anymore.

You curled up in your bed and cried until there was nothing left. 

 

The next day, you got out of bed to take your last final and then went back to your dorm to crawl into bed again.

Well, you would have. If you hadn’t been ambushed.

You had just turned the corner of the path in front of your dorm building when Lafayette stepped out in front of you.

“How was your final, ma belle? Do you think you did okay?”

You stopped in your tracks, shooting a hard glare at him.

“You think you can just act like nothing is happening?” 

“(Y/N), amour, please. Talk to me.”

“I think we’ve run out of things to talk about.”

“Would you at least mind coming back home with me? I have something to give you.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten. When you reached ten, you exhaled. Opened your eyes.

Lafayette stood in front of you, wringing his hands, nervous.

“Fine.”

 

One silent car ride later, you were making your way across the parking lot to Laf’s apartment. The one that had been a second home to you. You made it to the door and Lafayette stepped in front of you to open the door for you. 

The two of you stood in the small hallway for a minute, neither speaking.

“So. When were you planning on telling me you were leaving?”

“I don’t know. I knew it would hurt whenever I did it, but I couldn’t bring myself to be the reason you cried.”

“Well,” you said sarcastically. “Great job.”

Lafayette grabbed your arms and spun you to face him.

“Come with me.” 

Had you heard him correctly? Your face screwed up in confusion.

“Come with me to France. I’ll tell Grand-mere it’ll be another week before I can leave. That will give us plenty of time to pack for you, get your passport, everything we need…”

“No.”

He dropped his hands off of you as if you had burnt him. You took a small step back.

“No?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

You looked at him like he was crazy. And he was, right? To just spring this on you, like there was nothing holding you back. Tears started filling your eyes again. How could he do this to you?

“Gilbert. I can’t. I have another semester of undergrad. And then I’m already applying to the graduate program here. I can’t just pick up and leave with you.”

“Yes, you can. You can transfer and your French is almost as good as mine!” He pleaded desperately, hands coming back up to your arms. You took another step back, coming into the opening of the living room.

“I’m not going to abandon my life because you don’t want to abandon me. I have friends here, family. I can’t give up my education to follow you to France.”

Hurt crossed his face, his eyes filled with pain.

“So, is this it? Are we breaking up?”

You closed your eyes and shook your head. 

“I don’t want to. But I can’t go to France. I can’t be with you like that.”

“I thought we would be together forever. I love you so much, (Y/N). please don’t do this,” he said, taking another step toward you. You jerked back, still shaking your head as you cried. You tripped over your feet and crashed to the ground, hard. Lafayette was at your side instantly, checking to make sure you were okay. You scooted away from him until your back was up against the wall. You couldn’t let him touch you. You couldn’t let this dam inside of you burst, not just yet.

He let you move away from him, tears falling down his face as well. 

You saw movement out of the corner of your eye, in the living room. You looked up and saw a ginormous banner reading ‘BON VOYAGE LAFAYETTE’ in bright letters. And underneath that… Your jaw dropped.

Laf followed your look. Swore loudly and in French.

Everyone was watching. Alex, John, and Hercules. The Schuyler girls. Jefferson and Madison. Burr and Theo. Even Mr. Washington and his wife. And more people that you couldn’t remember at the moment.

The room was dead silent. Everyone was looking toward the two of you with looks ranging from pity to horror. Eliza had tears in her eyes. John was downing a drink like he’d never had one before in his life.

Laf stepped into the room and grabbed a small box off of the bookshelf and came back to kneel in front of you on the floor. You heard Alex’s sharp breath before it was handed to you.

“I bought this the day after Grand-mere told me I had to come home.”

You opened it slowly and stopped breathing when you saw the small ring nestled inside. Letting out a strangled cry, you thrust it back into his hands and scrambled to your feet, shaking your head. It was too much.

You pushed past the love of your life and ran out the door.


End file.
